Misanthropy Is So Underrated

Chances are So Underrated

Posted in Underrated by mpal219 on 23/10/2009

Sometimes you have to shut the door on chances.

Sometimes you have to shut the door on chances.

Chance: A suitable combination of conditions; a time or place favourable for executing a purpose.

One of the prevailing themes for the last year would be the fact that I have seen people not take advantage of the chances they get. There is an illusion that somehow they are going to keep coming over and over again so they take advantage of the ones they get in the first place. That is extremely problematic and few people acknowledge the problem. This is why chances are so underrated.

Ultimately I believe the reason why chances are so underrated lies in the fact that in our modern society three paradigms stand in the way for really understanding how valuable chances are narcissism and entitlement.

1. Narcissism – An inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self love; vanity.

Narcissism is the first dangerous element that triggers a nonchalant approach to chances given in life. I find that there are so many people caught up in themselves that they don’t see anything else around them. It is that narcissism that triggers a person to begin to understand their live using trivial means of measurement like: “What type of clothes am I wearing?” “How many ‘friends’ do I have?” “How many people have I had sex with?” “How many people want to have sex with me?” “How many phone numbers do I have?” “What type of car am I driving?” and many more. Likewise they take those inner things and turn them outward “How many friends does he have?” “How many people want to to have sex with him?” Honestly, at the end of the day all of the things don’t matter. However, it is the narcissism that gets in the way of that clarity. Why is this dangerous to chances? Because, what a narcissistic person fails to understand is trivial things are trivial for a reason. They fade away, they will change, and they won’t work in your favour for the rest of your life. Why you spent most of your time focused on those, you let true chances for something “real” or something to develop into “real” because you are caught up. This shows a very “on-the-surface” view of life and view of people.

Recently, I told an ex of mine that I cared about him still. Every time I bring it up I either get a sarcastic remark or no response at all. Honestly, I think that it is a result of the fact that he is so focused on those trivial things and fails to see what’s real in front of him. Every time I say these words to him, I am giving him a CHANCE to get my care. But he poo-poos on it constantly. Well just like the definition of chance (a time or place favorable for executing a purpose) says it has to be favourable. As the days and weeks go by it is becoming unfavorable for me to even show my care to this person. Now does he have the right to not want it? Of course! But…I believe that there are very few people in the world who TRULY cares about besides your family (maybe). And everyone who has shown me care I have grabbed on to it. I don’t want to look up a little while later when all of the trivial stuff is gone and realise that I dinged a chance to have something. Chances are a blessing. This brings me to the second most dangerous thing in regards to chances.

2. Entitlement – The belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges

Few people I have met understand that chances are a blessing and they come far and in between. I think our society has put into people’s head that they are entitled to certain things. This has led many to believe that because they feel entitled what ever the entity is will always exist. Well I hate to say that wrong! No one is entitled to give anyone anything so when the chance arises you really should think about what you are doing before you make a hasty decision. I think that entitlement and narcissism plays hand in hand. Again, focusing on trivial things takes you mind away from what is real hence you usually make a hasty decision. Then someone may turn around and then ask for a second chance only to find out that it has dried up. Occasionally, I would see someone get angry because it dried up. That is when the entitlement sets in. The anger that the person may be feeling is totally displaced. They really should have taken a moment and think about the longer term consequences before making a decision. NO ONE is entitled to a second chance so it is totally imperative that you take advantage of the ones that you do have.

My facebook status currently reads “When I Say Fuck You…I mean Fuck You” and that is the second motto that I will live by. I find myself too often giving people second, third, fourth, and fifth chances only to see them constantly shit on it over and over again. I have become tired and irritated with the whole situation. If you are reading this blog I hope that you take that into account when you are deciding to give someone a chance. It is not about getting back at them, but it is about self-esteem and self-preservation. When do you draw the line in the sand? When do you realise that that you have given too many chances? You have to realise (like I am learning) that what you offer to people is very valuable (e.g. time, effort, money, love, etc.), and just like a “valuable material item” that is valuable you have to hold on to it and be selective about who you are giving it to.

Don’t get me wrong…I know that some people don’t care for what you have to offer them, and that is NOT your problem. It is however important that you recongise when that moment arives and give them the ol’ F you. Not to be mean, not to be vendictive, but so you can give the people who are your side more and your valuables are not stretched thin.

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